Feelings of apprehension and jinxing a pregnancy can stop people from attending antenatal classes. It can be daunting to attend these, especially when others in the group have not endured a loss previously, and you feel as though you can’t relate to their experience. If you choose a group setting, you may wish to tell the class leader in private. You can also choose to share the news with the group if you feel comfortable doing so. It may be useful to look into online, individual, pregnancy after loss specific classes or pre-recorded sessions. Hypnobirthing can help through a pregnancy after loss as it will teach tools to help manage your anxiety or create a sense of safety and calm. Antenatal education provides crucial information and support, so finding a way to still take part in the way you are most comfortable is important.

It may be that you are ‘forced’ to disclose earlier than you would have chosen to due to pregnancy symptoms, needing to complete a risk assessment, legal requirements etc. You can ask for the news to be kept confidential if this makes you feel more comfortable. Some people prefer to announce their news early to ensure that they have support in place.
You may be anxious working when pregnant after a loss. It’s important to be aware that any leave you take for pregnancy is protected under ‘pregnancy related sicknesses’. This includes physical and mental health. You may need to get a Fitness note for this.

Formal counselling/support sessions for those who are pregnant after loss can be invaluable. Regular counselling can help you to speak about your feelings to an impartial person. You can offload, and it may also help to pass the time during pregnancy, knowing another week has passed and you’re another step closer to holding your baby. Petals offers a free counselling sessions.

For some people, they might find an early scan comforting. For others, they may be triggering, especially if they received difficult news during a scan. For the latter, an early scan may lead to a sense of ‘false hope’. If a scan would put your mind at ease, it’s worth requesting one from your GP. If funds allow, you could book in for a private early scan. Again, for some people they would prefer not to do this in case difficult news is given to them. It’s completely up to you and there is no right or wrong. You can also inform your sonographer that you have experienced a previous loss and that you feel anxious/nervous.

Story sharing can be extremely beneficial for coping with pregnancy after loss, and with the internet this is very accessible. You can post anonymously in many forums, and you can search previous posts/threads for similar experiences. It can help to know that you are far from alone and that similar struggles are faced by countless others. The Miscarriage Association has a forum which may be a help to you.

You may want to ask your GP for support available to you during pregnancy after loss. It’s important to reach out and tell them if you’re struggling with difficult feelings during the pregnancy, including low mood and anxiety. There is a higher risk of depression and anxiety in pregnancy after miscarriage. GPs (and midwives later on) can refer you to appropriate services, including health professionals in the maternity team (who specialise in maternal mental health). They can also support you after birth too. Mental health issues within pregnancy are taken seriously, and you are entitled to support.

You may wonder how you’re going to get through this pregnancy. It can be overwhelming thinking about getting to the next week, next trimester, and then to the birth, and eventually bringing your baby home. It’s a good idea to stand still and think about how far you’ve come to get to this point. Please head to our page emotional health and wellbeing for a comprehensive list of coping strategies and tools.

You may feel guilty for being pregnant again and ‘forgetting’ your lost baby/babies. It’s important to remember that you are not replacing your lost baby.

It may help to write a letter or a poem to your lost baby. Some people make a keepsake, name a star, plant a tree etc., to ensure that their lost baby isn’t forgotten, and this can also help to heal.

There will be moments in your pregnancy when you are unsure what is best or what is right. some scenarios may include:

• Sharing your news/announcing your pregnancy - You may face the irrational fear that doing so jinxes your pregnancy. However, there is no such thing as ‘too early’ or ‘too late’ – only you know when the time is right for you.

• Having a baby shower

• When to buy baby items

• How to answer the questions, such as "Is this your first baby/how many children do you have?"

These are very personal choices and there is no right or wrong. In any of these scenarios it is important to remember that you are not obligated to follow any "set rules". Taking time to decide when and how is right for you is important. There is not one way to navigate a pregnancy after loss. Some ideas of ways to overcome these hurdles are:
Buying items later in your pregnancy, buying them and storing them somewhere other than your home, waiting to decide on a baby shower closer to your due date, having a pregnancy shower (which focuses on your health and wellbeing) rather than a baby shower.

Using medication to help mental health illnesses can be stigmatised. However, many people take medication, such as antidepressants during their pregnancy. You can speak to your GP/midwife about the effects, concerns and dosages appropriate for pregnancy. Please do not feel ashamed of experiencing low mood, intrusive thoughts, flashbacks etc., because they are not your fault. Sometimes medication is necessary, but it is often best used alongside counselling/therapy. Again, you can seek advice from your GP on the best plan forward.