How did MISS start? It’s a question I often get asked, which is shortly followed by a wee gasp and a lump in my throat. It takes me back to a sad and very traumatic year, but then I take a breath and share my experience because I know my story may help other bereaved parents.

In 2015, I experienced a difficult start to the year with the passing of my father-in-law from cancer. Despite the challenges, my husband and I got married in less than 24 hours so that he could be a part of our special day, then a couple of days before his funeral, I found out I was pregnant. It brought hope and positivity to our lives after such a traumatic year. However, six weeks later, while at work in a meeting, I felt something was wrong and noticed that where I sat on my chair there was blood on my seat and dress, and not knowing what to say to my boss (who was male), I just left and didn’t tell anyone.

It was a horrific experience. I cried, felt numb, and blamed myself. There are no words to truly describe this period in my life. Undergoing medical management to pass the baby is an indescribable feeling. Leaving the hospital with nothing and quickly returning to work left me feeling embarrassed, with no dignity, and still numb.

A while later, I was grateful to be pregnant again, but it was not how I imagined it to be, as I lived in constant fear of miscarrying again. With every different symptom, I worried, I googled and I paid for extra scans on a monthly basis to give myself reassurance that everything was ok. I waited 22 weeks before announcing it to anyone, as I was so scared.

After having my rainbow baby, my experience and how I felt during pregnancy stuck with me and I realised that I needed to change something. There was no support after leaving hospital, and there was a feeling of sadness and struggling to move forward which I couldn’t let go of. In 2017 I organised a cuppa and chat; a safe and confidential space where women and men could talk about their experiences, feel supported, and feel less alone. There was no judgement or opinion, and people could form relationships. This is how MISS started!