Emotional Health & Wellbeing
Experiencing a miscarriage can be a painful and bewildering event. The emotional journey that follows is deeply personal and is often typified by a wide range of emotions; waves of sadness, anger, guilt, confusion, or even numbness. It's important to acknowledge your experience and give yourself permission to grieve in your own way and time.
Below are supportive tools that can help you reconnect with your emotional health and nurture your well-being as you begin your journey of healing.
Tools for healing:
Building Self-Awareness
The first step towards healing is being able to notice what is happening in your mind and body. This creates space between you and your emotions so that you can respond from a place of calm, without judgement and with intention. Self-awareness helps to validate your experience and gives you more clarity about what support you need.
Ideas:
Journaling: Write freely about your emotions, thoughts, and physical sensations. You don’t need to have answers—just write down, draw, speak out loud whatever is present for you in a given moment.
Check-in questions: Try asking yourself daily:
How am I feeling emotionally right now?
If I can’t target a specific emotion, how am I feeling physically?
What do I need in this moment?
Grounding Techniques
Grief can sometimes make us feel untethered. It can also make us feel disconnected from our bodies or overwhelmed with racing thoughts. Grounding techniques are simple practices that help bring you back into the present moment and reconnect you with physical and emotional safety.
Try these grounding tools:
5-4-3-2-1 Technique
Name 5 things you can see,
4 things you can touch,
3 things you can hear,
2 things you can smell,
1 thing you can taste.
Feet-on-the-floor practice:
Sit or stand and focus your attention on your feet. Feel the ground holding you. This works particularly well if you are able to do it with bare feet on the ground outside. Nature is physiologically soothing to our nervous system.
Breath focus:
Place one hand on your heart and one hand on your abdomen. Slowly inhale for a count of 4, hold for 4, exhale for 6. Repeat 3–5 times. Allow your exhale to be slow and controlled.
Mindfulness
Mindfulness is the practice of being present with your experience, without judgment, just noticing things going on in a given moment. It offers a gentle way to acknowledge pain while building resilience and a sense of peace.
Body scan meditation:
Lie down and bring attention to each part of your body in a progressive manner, noticing sensations without trying to change them. Start either with the top of your head or with your feet and move either up or down your body. Starting at the head and working downwards works nicely as a way to relax before bed. Starting at your feet and working upwards is a nice way to build some energy to start your day.
Mindful walking:
Go to a place in nature that you love, walk slowly and deliberately, paying attention to each step, your breath, and the sounds around you. Use your senses to anchor you to the present. This might be a lovely moment to practise gratitude:
I am grateful for the birds singing in the trees, lifting my mood
I am grateful for the support I have had on this journey so far
Single-tasking:
Bring full awareness to everyday activities like drinking tea, brushing your hair, or washing dishes. It might feel a bit strange or silly; but grieving and healing can be an exhausting process and your brain may feel overwhelmed and tired. So just allow yourself to think of nothing other than a simple task.
Mindfulness doesn’t remove grief, but it helps soften your relationship with it. It can help to ease your weary mind and “lighten the load”.
Self-Compassion
It’s common to carry guilt or self-blame after a miscarriage. Practicing self-compassion helps counter and balance the inner voice of criticism or blame. This in turn helps your to nurture yourself and take another step on the healing journey. Kristin Neff’s triangle of self-compassion is a lovely example of bringing together different aspects of this concept.
Self Kindness:
If someone you loved went through this, how would you support them? Offer those same words to yourself. Instead of self-criticism, self-kindness encourages you to be gentle with yourself and support your own struggles.
Mindfulness:
Hand-on-heart practice - Place your hand over your heart, take a breath, observe your thoughts and emotions without judgement. Say gently: This is hard right now, and I am doing the best I can.
Common Humanity:
This involves recognising that suffering is part of the shared human experience. This can be a helpful reminder that you are not alone, preventing feelings of isolation.
Remember: healing is not linear, and you deserve kindness through every step of it.
Affirmations of Healing
Affirmations can offer hope, strength, and self-kindness during difficult moments. Try reading or writing them daily, or choose one to repeat when you need comfort. Using affirmations will be strange at first; this is called cognitive dissonance - a discomfort which arises from conflicting beliefs. The more you practise using these positive phrases, the more your beliefs will start to change and you will notice that feeling of unease dissipating.
Healing affirmations:
My grief is valid. I am allowed to feel it all.
I release the need to blame myself.
I am worthy of love, rest, and healing.
Writing your own affirmations can be particularly powerful. Choose affirmations that resonate with your individual journey and adapt them as needed.
You are not alone. Grief after miscarriage is a complex, layered process—and healing takes time, patience, and care. These tools are not quick fixes, but gentle companions to walk alongside you.
If you are struggling to cope, consider reaching out to a therapist, support group, or someone you trust. Seeking support is a strength—not a weakness.
You are worthy of healing.
You Are Not Alone.
The path through pregnancy loss can feel isolating, but support is available. Explore our Resources page to find the organisations and initiatives offering comfort and guidance during a difficult time.
